Why Men Open Up When Walking Side-by-Side

Have you ever noticed how men tend to open up more when they’re side by side with someone, rather than sitting across a table? Whether it’s during a walk; working on a car; or sitting together on a long drive, men often find it easier to talk when facing the world shoulder-to-shoulder. It’s not just anecdotal - there’s science behind it.

The Power of Shoulder-to-Shoulder Conversations & walking side-by-side

For many men, face-to-face conversations can feel intense - especially when the topic is emotional. Eye contact, while often seen as a sign of connection, can sometimes be too much. Research shows that direct eye contact activates the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for processing fear and threat. From an evolutionary perspective, direct gaze was often a sign of confrontation. For many men, this instinct still remains, triggering discomfort and a feeling of being under scrutiny.

When men walk side by side, that tension eases. Eyes are forward; the path is shared, and there’s less of that uncomfortable sense of being ‘on the spot’. As a result,  conversations tend to flow more naturally. There’s even evidence that walking together synchronises movement and rhythm, subtly building connection and rapport without the pressure of direct eye contact.

Neurologically, the act of walking can also activate bilateral stimulation, which is known to engage both hemispheres of the brain. This has been linked to enhanced emotional processing and problem-solving - similar to how EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy utilises bilateral movement to help people work through trauma. When men are moving forward physically, it seems to unlock a willingness to move forward emotionally too.

Why Men Bond Better Through Action

It’s not just biological - it’s cultural too. Men have long bonded over activities - fishing, fire-building, fixing things - where communication happens more comfortably. This is referred to as ‘action-oriented communication’. Rather than sitting face-to-face, men often open up when there’s a shared activity. It’s why conversations happen more easily while watching a game or working on a project side by side. The activity itself becomes a natural backdrop for deeper conversations without the forced intensity of direct gaze.

Photo by @gillyphotography

In my Mentoring work with Veterans who were negotiating the shift from a military career to civilian life, I saw this firsthand. Many of them struggled when we met indoors - hyper-vigilant to the sounds and movements of a coffee shop. But when we met outside in nature for a walk, they were more relaxed. They could more readily scan the environment, feel a sense of safety, and open up as we walked side by side. It wasn’t just the fresh air; it was the space to breathe, the freedom to look forward rather than at me, and the shared rhythm of walking that made it easier for them to talk. The same thing happened when I was mentoring teenage boys in the care system. Side by side activity brings a sense of equanimity. The lack of hierarchy helps to build trust.

Walk and Talk Therapy: A Natural Fit

This is why Walk and Talk Therapy works so well for men’s mental health. It breaks away from the typical therapist’s office - no more sitting in a clinical setting with the pressure to “open up.” Instead, you’re out in nature, walking side by side, with the world unfolding around you.

Walking side by side reduces the sense of confrontation and brings a sense of camaraderie. You’re literally moving forward together, which can mirror the process of working through emotional challenges. Therapists who practice Walk and Talk Therapy often find that clients open up more easily, feel less defensive, and are more willing to explore difficult topics. The movement itself is therapeutic too - studies show that gentle exercise like walking reduces cortisol levels (the body’s stress hormone) and boosts mood.

Why this Matters for Men

We know that men are statistically less likely than women to seek out therapy. Part of that may be down to the format - sitting in a chair, face-to-face, and talking about feelings can feel unnatural - sometimes even intimidating. Walk and Talk Therapy changes that dynamic. It’s less formal, more relaxed, and aligns with how many men are naturally comfortable communicating.

But this shoulder-to-shoulder principle isn’t limited to therapy. It applies to mentoring, coaching, and even everyday conversations. If you want to get your teenage son to open up; take him for a walk. If you want to check in with a mate who’s going through a rough patch; suggest a hike or a drive. Shifting away from direct eye contact can make all the difference.

Creating Spaces Where Men Can Open Up

Walk-and-Talk Therapy is just one example of how effective this approach can be. Men’s groups like Men’s Sheds, Heart Wood and Men’s Pie Club have tapped into this idea brilliantly. These projects provide spaces for men to work side by side, where conversation happens more naturally (and often more deeply) than it would in a traditional sit-down setting.

If we want men to feel comfortable opening up, we need to rethink the settings where these conversations happen. Walking side by side; working on a task together; or even sitting with the focus outward instead of directly on each other can create the space for real, meaningful conversations.

The message is simple: to get men talking, sometimes it’s better to walk side by side than sit face to face.

If this approach resonates with you or someone in your life, and you’re curious about how Walk-and-Talk Therapy could support you in moving forward, I’d be happy to have a conversation. Feel free to book a free initial call and let’s explore what could work best for you.

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