Self-harm is not just a teenage issue or something that only affects women! My experience working with men supports research showing that they struggle with it too - often in ways that remain unseen and unacknowledged. Whether it be eating or excessive exercise, the problem is not necessarily in the method itself but the underlying issues and the impact is has on a man’s life. Many who self-harm just don’t conform to stereotypical images of self-injury, leading to a lack of awareness and support. This silence can have serious consequences, with unaddressed distress increasing emotional suffering and, in some cases, escalating to suicidal thoughts or behaviours.
As Self-Harm Awareness Day approaches, it’s time to challenge the stigma, stop burying our heads in the sand and start talking about the reality of self-harm in men.
The Hidden Struggle
While self-harm in men is less frequently discussed, research indicates that it is a significant issue. Men are more likely to engage in self-injurious behaviours that align with cultural ideas of masculinity - excessive risk-taking, physical fights, or substance-related self-destruction - rather than more commonly recognised forms of self-harm such as cutting. I am not suggesting that it isn’t also an issue, but these behaviours are often overlooked as warning signs, reinforcing the belief that self-harm is not a male issue.
Yet hospital admissions and crisis service reports suggest otherwise. According to NHS data, approximately 40% of individuals presenting with self-harm in A&E are men, yet they are significantly less likely to receive follow-up mental health support compared to women.
This gap in care highlights the urgent need for more tailored intervention strategies for men who self-harm. Men are also less likely to seek help or disclose their distress before reaching a crisis point. This reluctance is partly shaped by societal expectations. As a result of traditional masculinity norms and early social conditioning men are often conditioned to suppress vulnerability - associating it with weakness. This can make it harder to ask for support until distress manifests in more dangerous ways.
Why Do Men Self-Harm?
Self-harm is not about seeking attention - it is a coping mechanism, a way of managing overwhelming emotions. In men, self-harm is often linked to experiences of trauma, unresolved grief, or struggles with identity and self-worth. Research in the UK has found strong associations between self-harm and adverse childhood experiences, relationship breakdowns, and economic stress. For many men, self-harm is a means of regaining control in a life that feels chaotic, or a way to express emotions that feel impossible to put into words.
However, because self-harm in men is less openly discussed, many suffer in silence. This is particularly concerning given the strong links between self-harm and suicide risk - something that cannot be ignored when suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.
The Complex Relationship Between Self-Harm and Suicide
While not all men who self-harm are suicidal and self-harm does not directly lead to suicide attempts, research suggests that self-harm can be an indicator of underlying distress - a ‘cry of pain’ that, if left unaddressed, may increase vulnerability to suicidal thoughts and can increase the risk of future suicidal behaviour - especially when accompanied by feelings of entrapment, hopelessness, and a perceived lack of social support.
The link between the two is complex - self-harm can serve as a coping mechanism that helps some men avoid suicidal crisis; while for others, repeated self-injury may contribute to greater emotional suffering. This underscores the importance of a range of intervention strategies, including trauma-informed therapy, peer support, and early intervention programs that address both emotional distress and the underlying factors driving self-harming behaviours. Encouraging men to seek help in environments that feel safe and free of judgment can create pathways toward healthier coping mechanisms and reduce the risk of escalation. Understanding this distinction is crucial in providing the right support at the right time, ensuring men feel heard and valued before they reach a breaking point.
Rethinking Support for Men
Breaking the silence around self-harm in men starts with recognising that emotional pain is not a sign of weakness. Services and support networks must adapt to meet the needs of men who self-harm, which starts with fostering environments where men feel safe discussing all aspects of their mental health without fear of judgment. Promoting opportunities for mental health education; supporting peer-led initiatives, and ensuring accessible and male-focused support services (including access to trauma-informed therapy) can all play a role in encouraging men to open up about their struggles. Shifting the conversation away from shame and towards practical strategies for emotional regulation can make a real difference.
Moving Towards Change
If you or someone you know is struggling with self-harm, you are not alone. While it can be difficult to reach out, talking to someone who understands - whether that’s a trusted friend, a support group, or a professional - can be the first step towards healing.
By recognising self-harm in men for what it is - a response to deep emotional distress - we can create a culture where seeking help is not only acceptable but encouraged. Share this article and start that conversation today
What steps do you think we could take to better support men in breaking the silence around self-harm? I would love to hear your thoughts so reach out - comment or send me a DM.
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