Sensing Danger: Understanding the Negativity Bias and the Autonomic Nervous System

Have you ever been somewhere familiar, with people you trust, yet felt a sudden sense of danger? Recently, I found myself caught off guard in exactly that situation. Rationally, I wasn’t in harm’s way, but my body told a different story. As men, how often do we ignore these warning signs in our bodies, pushing through rather than reflecting? This experience made me stop and think about why we react this way - and how men, in particular, can learn to recognise and address these responses.

The Autonomic Nervous System and the Negativity Bias

Bear with me while I bring in a bit of theoretical context: Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) governs our automatic responses to the world around us, particularly in situations we perceive as threatening. At its core, the ANS is designed to protect us. When we sense danger, it activates the sympathetic nervous system, often called the "fight, flight, or freeze" response. This state primes our senses: our visual field narrows, we perceive danger in others, and we’re more likely to hear negativity in their tone or words.

This is where the negativity bias comes in. Men, in particular, often shoulder the pressure of staying composed and vigilant, which can amplify the tendency to focus on potential threats. While this bias was once essential for survival; in modern life, it can mean that our perception of danger doesn’t always match reality. Factors such as recent thoughts, past experiences, and even subtle cues can influence how our nervous system responds. But, what would it mean for you to approach danger differently, creating safety for yourself and others?

The good news is that neuroplasticity - our brain’s ability to adapt - means we can rewire our responses over time. By shifting our focus to signs of safety, we can begin to challenge the negativity bias and create a greater sense of calm and balance - for ourselves and for others!

Practical Tools for Resetting Your Nervous System

Rewiring your nervous system isn’t an overnight process, but with practice, it’s possible to create a more balanced response to perceived threats. Here are some tools that have a proven evidence base and that I’ve found useful:

1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practising mindfulness helps you notice your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Meditation can create space to observe negative thoughts and choose not to give them undue weight. Over time, this helps train your brain to focus on safety rather than danger.

2. Journaling: Writing about your experiences can help you identify triggers and patterns in your responses. It also creates an opportunity for self-reflection and growth, allowing you to approach future situations with greater awareness. Try these prompts: What was I feeling in the moment? What might have triggered this reaction? How can I respond differently next time?"

3. Challenging Negative Thoughts: A mantra I find helpful is: 'It’s just…' - 'just a thought'; 'just my reaction'; 'just my defence mechanism'. This simple phrase can help put things in perspective and act as a mental reset.

4. Breathing Exercises: When we’re in a state of high alert, our breathing often changes. I notice when I stop breathing - anticipating danger; or when my breathing quickens - as cortisol is pumping through my body priming me to escape. Deep, intentional breathing signals your brain that you’re safe, helping to deactivate the fight-or-flight response. Try slowing down and breathing deeply from your belly and focusing on a longer exhale - in through the nose and out through the mouth. Check out these examples.

What Doesn’t Work: Learning from Experience

While many tools can help regulate the nervous system, not all are effective in every situation. For instance, I often use cold water to bring myself into the present moment, but today, when I already felt unsafe, it backfired. Instead of calming me, the cold water added stress to my system and kept me on high alert for hours. It wasn’t until I took my dog for a walk that I began to process the experience and realign myself.

This highlights an important truth: no single tool works in every situation. What helps one day may not be as effective the next, especially if our nervous system is already overwhelmed. That’s why it’s helpful to have a toolbox of strategies to draw from - and to approach each situation with curiosity and patience.

Moving Forward Without Guilt or Shame

In moments of high alert, our rational brain often goes offline. It’s natural to fall back on default responses, especially if they’ve been ingrained over a lifetime. For men, this can feel like a double-edged sword - balancing the societal expectation to appear strong and in control with the reality of emotional overwhelm. What’s important is recognising these patterns without guilt, shame, or blame. Each experience is an opportunity to learn and reset.

By acknowledging our reactions and experimenting with tools to shift our nervous system, we can start creating safer spaces - not just in our environment, but within ourselves and for others.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in survival mode, remember this: small, consistent changes can transform how you respond to the world around you. Start with one tool that resonates with you, like mindful breathing or journaling, and notice how it shifts your perspective over time.

Also, if you’d like support on your journey, we can always have a conversation about how therapy could help.

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