Every January, millions of people set ambitious New Year’s resolutions, but studies consistently reveal that most of these goals are abandoned within weeks. For men, this failure can feel deeply personal, tied to societal pressures to constantly perform and succeed. Traditional gender roles often emphasise being the provider, achiever, or protector, making unmet goals feel like a blow to your very identity.
But what if the problem isn’t you?
What if the way we approach resolutions is fundamentally flawed?
The Trouble with Traditional Resolutions
The problem is that resolutions often focus on external achievements: lose weight, earn more money, or quit a bad habit. While there’s nothing wrong with striving for improvement, these goals are often rooted in external pressures rather than internal, personal values.
The main issue with resolutions is that they’re often focused on external achievements: losing weight, earning more money, or quitting a bad habit. While striving for self-improvement is great, these goals are frequently rooted in external pressures rather than internal personal values. They can feel more like chores than meaningful aspirations - like beating yourself with a metaphorical stick rather than prising yourself.
Another stumbling block is the all-or-nothing mindset. Missing a gym session or indulging in a takeaway often feels like failure, which can lead you to abandon the goal entirely. This black-and-white thinking traps you in a cycle of self-criticism and inaction. For men, this can be compounded by societal expectations to ‘tough it out’ and avoid showing vulnerability.
This reluctance to adjust goals or seek support can leave you feeling isolated and stuck.
What if instead we saw vulnerability as a strength? What if 2025 could be about a new approach?
A New Year’s Approach: Values Over Goals
Instead of focusing on what you should achieve, consider how you want to live. Start by asking yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?
What matters most to me?
Once you’ve reflected on these questions, write down your answers and say them out loud. How do they feel? If something doesn’t sit right, trust your gut. Don’t judge yourself - just refine your answers.
For a deeper check, share your intentions with a trusted friend and get their feedback: Say them out loud as you look into their eyes, and ask them what they think. If it’s a "Yes!", great; if its a "Oh no!" then it’s time to think again. Their reaction could help you sense whether these values truly resonate.
Shifting from outcome-driven goals to value-based intentions creates a real sense of purpose—and that’s far more sustainable. For example, instead of saying, “I want to lose 10kg,” you might decide, “I want to take care of my body so I can feel stronger and more energised.”
Tips for Starting Fresh in 2025
1. Start Small
Focus on one small change at a time. Small wins build confidence and momentum.
2. Celebrate Progress
Acknowledge every step forward, no matter how small. Progress, not perfection, is the goal! If you slip up, don’t dwell on it. Move on—it’s not a failure.
3. Check In Regularly
Reflect weekly or monthly on whether your actions align with your values. Adjust them whenever needed. Sense-checking keeps you on track.
4. Find Accountability
Share your intentions with someone you trust. This could be a friend, partner, or a men’s group. Agree to check in regularly to keep each other accountable.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion goes a long way. Treat yourself as you would a friend who’s learning and growing.
A Fresh Start That Lasts
This New Year, instead of chasing resolutions that fade, focus on building a life that feels true to you. Reconnecting with your values and prioritising sustainable habits can create lasting change - not just for January but for the year ahead.
What are your intentions for 2025? Share them in the comments below and inspire others to embrace this fresh approach.
If this resonates with you, share it with someone who might benefit from rethinking their New Year’s resolutions. Let’s make 2025 a year of purpose and sustainable growth.
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