When Self-Doubt Becomes a Barrier: How Imposter Syndrome Silently Impacts Men

Have you ever found yourself questioning whether you truly deserve your success? Wondering if one day someone will find out you're not as capable as they think? You're not alone.

Many of the men I work with - whether in therapy or mentoring - share this exact experience. Despite external success, there's an inner belief that they’ve somehow fooled others. This is imposter syndrome, and it’s quietly eroding confidence, purpose, and connection in men across all industries.

Understanding the Roots of Imposter Syndrome in Men

Imposter syndrome arises from a disconnection between internal self-perception and external validation. Men, in particular, are often raised with subtle but powerful messages: you must be competent, confident, and emotionally self-reliant. These unspoken rules leave little room for vulnerability or self-doubt.

For men, the issue is often hidden, disguised by overworking, perfectionism, or isolation; it’s linked with chronic stress, burnout, and decreased job satisfaction.

The Hidden Cost: Shame, Isolation, and Disconnection

What lies beneath imposter syndrome is often something deeper - shame. As Robert Augustus Masters notes in To Be a Man, it’s not just a critical voice we carry but a “felt sense of public condemnation.” It’s the fear of being exposed as inherently inadequate.

This shame can push men to disconnect from their emotions and even from their inner sense of self. It may lead to emotional numbing or dissociation from meaningful work, creativity, and connection. Over time, it keeps men small - hiding rather than showing up fully.

In a culture that still rewards stoicism and shames vulnerability, many men internalise the message that expressing uncertainty is a flaw. The result? Fewer men putting themselves forward, speaking up, or stepping into leadership with authenticity.

Real Men, Real Struggles

Public figures have shared these struggles too. David Tennant has spoken about imposter feelings when stepping into iconic roles. Steven Bartlett, known for his confidence, has admitted in his Diary of a CEO Podcast to intense self-doubt when joining Dragons' Den. Their honesty helps to normalise what so many silently carry.

What Can We Do About It?

Here are some small but powerful steps:

• Acknowledge imposter feelings without judgement. They’re common - and not a sign of weakness.

• Write down your achievements and pay particular attention to your role in them.

• Reach out to someone you trust. Talking breaks the illusion of isolation.

• Be aware of perfectionism and self-comparison. Are they serving you, or keeping you stuck?

• Spend time reconnecting with who you are beneath the performance. Nature, movement, and reflective practices help.

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A Call for Honesty and Connection

Men thrive when given the space to be honest, vulnerable, and seen. Imposter syndrome shrinks that space - but it doesn’t have to define us. When we name what we’re experiencing and seek support, we not only grow individually - we allow others to grow with us.

If you're ready to work through these patterns, you're not alone. Reach out when you're ready.

You don’t have to earn your worth. It was never in question.

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