The Call to Adventure: Why Men Need Risk to Thrive
- Stephen
- Apr 7
- 5 min read
There’s a wildness in many men that doesn’t disappear with age - it just gets quieter. As boys, we’re drawn to climbing trees, racing bikes, pushing limits. But somewhere along the way, we’re told to tone it down. Be responsible. Play it safe. Don’t mess it up.
But here’s the thing: without risk, something inside us starts to wither.
Adventure isn’t just about climbing mountains or jumping out of planes. It’s about stepping into the unknown - physically, emotionally, and psychologically. It’s about pushing boundaries, embracing discomfort, and reconnecting with that part of us that longs to feel fully alive.
In a world where many young men feel lost, isolated, or disconnected - this call to adventure isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.
Risk and the search for meaning
When men avoid risk, they often don’t find safety - they find stagnation. And that stagnation comes with a cost.
The Office for National Statistics (2023) reports that young men in the UK between 16–24 consistently report lower levels of life satisfaction, happiness, and a sense of purpose than women of the same age. Meanwhile, suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50.
This isn’t just about mental illness. It’s about meaning. It’s about connection. It’s about the absence of healthy challenges that help us grow into who we’re meant to be.
Without real risk, men often turn to false alternatives - numbing routines, addictive behaviours, or online rabbit holes that offer the illusion of control or escape. Then, when life starts to feel like it’s happening to us, rather than through us, motivation dries up.
But there’s a flip-side to this; and it lies in our biology.
Flow: the science of feeling fully alive
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term flow in his 1990 book The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He describes it as a state of concentration so focused that it amounts to absolute absorption in an activity. Time disappears. You lose yourself in the moment - and you come out changed: more grounded, focused, and alive..
But here’s the key: flow only emerges when the challenge level is high enough to meet your skill level. Too easy, and you get bored. Too hard, and you get overwhelmed. The sweet spot is where growth lives.This isn’t just a nice experience - it’s profoundly healing.
Flow states have been shown to reduce anxiety, increase intrinsic motivation, and lead to long-term improvements in wellbeing. Brain imaging studies show decreased activity in the prefrontal cortex - responsible for self-criticism and overthinking - and increased dopamine and endorphin release.
Adventure is one of the most natural gateways into flow. It requires focus, action, and presence. Whether it’s trail running, climbing, wild swimming, or even creative pursuits like photography or drumming - these moments activate the nervous system in a way that regulates rather than overwhelms. They remind us that we’re alive.
The common denominator? Risk. Not recklessness - but stretching yourself just beyond the edge of comfort.
The myth of the safe life
We live in a time that idolises security: Get the job. Lock it in. Stay safe. However, safe doesn’t always mean secure; and it almost never means fulfilled.
For many men, the absence of real risk leads to a kind of invisible suffering. Life becomes routine. Flat. Predictable. On paper, everything looks fine - but deep down, they feel adrift.
In Change Your World: The Science of Resilience and the True Path to Success, (2019) Canadian researcher Michael Ungar argues that real growth happens when we face manageable stressors that push us to adapt. We don’t become resilient by avoiding struggle - we become resilient by learning how to engage - to test yourself in the world: from failing learning and rebuilding.
This is where adventure plays its part. Because when you answer the call to adventure - especially when it scares you a little - you’re not just collecting experiences. You’re building your inner architecture.
It’s not just the physical challenge. It’s the emotional and relational risks too.
Adventure isn’t only physical
You don’t have to climb Everest to be brave.
Adventure is also:
Saying “I don’t know” out loud.
Walking into a men’s circle for the first time.
Admitting to yourself that you’re unhappy.
Choosing to feel rather than numb out.
Starting over.
These might seem small from the outside, but for many men, they’re acts of revolution.
In my work with clients, I’ve seen how avoiding emotional risk often does more damage than facing it: Shame festers. Loneliness grows. Confidence erodes. But when a man speaks honestly, lets himself be seen, or asks for help - something shifts. He remembers his strength.
Courage, after all, doesn’t mean the absence of fear. It means showing up, despite it.
Adventure rewires the system
Whether it’s a freezing cold lake, a long mountain trail, or a creative leap you’ve been putting off, adventure shifts your state. It gets you out of your head and into your body; out of analysis and into experience.
When you're active, challenged, and engaged:
Dopamine and endorphins rise - improving mood and motivation.
Cortisol drops - lowering stress and anxiety.
You access the default mode network less - the part of the brain responsible for rumination and self-criticism.
Adventure doesn’t just change how we feel in the moment - it changes the wiring that determines how we face the future. You literally change your mind through action.
So what does adventure look like for you?
It doesn’t have to be epic. You just need a willingness to say yes to something unknown.
It might be:
Booking that wild weekend hike, even if you don’t feel “fit enough.”
Taking the plunge with cold water swimming or a trail run.
Opening up to a trusted mate about what’s really going on.
Starting a creative project that’s been quietly calling you.
Saying yes to a challenge that scares you just a little.
In my work with men - especially younger men - the turning point often comes from a small but meaningful choice to move towards discomfort, rather than away from it.
Whatever your version of adventure is - make it real, not performative. Do it for you, not for the story. Let it stretch you.
When is it time to reach out?
If life feels flat, stuck, or like a loop you can’t escape, therapy can help you reconnect with your inner compass. Especially if you’ve lost touch with what makes you feel alive.
Sometimes we need a guide. Sometimes we need a mirror. Sometimes we just need permission to take the first step.
Because when you answer the call to adventure, you don’t just feel more alive - you remember who you are.
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